An apple in an orange tree

“Being broken hearted is not always about letting go of someone, but it’s about zeroing in on a problem”

No matter how the relationship goes there comes a point that you have to let go just to lessen the problems that is really troubling you. And it is definitely a way to get rid of more pain. But what is the worst thing about it is that, if it only one heart ends up broken. After all, breaking up is not easy to do. It really hurts to throw away your story with someone. From all the good memories and plans to the worst thing happened that you two had. It’s not easy to do. Because it takes time to forget someone. It takes courage to go. And it takes extreme laughter to stay happy.

So now what? What are your plans for the future without the person you thought who’s going to be your companion? Think of these. Absolutely, it would be a bigger help if you try to get busy, watch movie, travel, and anything as long as it finds something to do. Because if you’re busy, there’s no time for you to think the person you’re trying to forget. Have friends? This will certainly make you feel good. Friends can make you happy and most importantly can make you realize how important you are. About the person you are trying to forget? Avoid the person! Try not to hear the music that will remember of you of that person, try not to go to the place where you know you can meet him/her, And if you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice but find an excuse to go away, because it could be hard for you to forget if you two keep seeing each other. Another is, go out and see some different faces. Wear your best clothes, best make up, and best smile. When you go out, you notice that the person you’re trying to forget is not the only one who’s got a perfect smile and an amazing voice. And lastly, stay beautiful! Take good care of yourself and do whatever you can to prevent it.

But you can’t help those hurtful feelings can you? Sometimes, you tend to go into a quiet dark, little place, where you can play out your little dramas that can be so hurtful to you. Indeed, one of the most important things you can do is by crying, it is normal when you get hurt. When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. It’s getting rid of the pain. And it’s best for you.

Undeniably, I know all of these are not the easy to do. But you have to. Because there’s no more time to go back were you’ve been before, before that you had him/her. Believe me! This will gonna be a bigger help. Anyway I am not 100% referring only to all the readers but to myself especially, because these are the things I have to do. I’m keeping this since I became one but unfortunately I am still in a process of it now (well..it really takes time to forget..more time to get rid of him). I just thought to share it so I can have at least companion for this feeling, a feeling of being broken (I mean zeroing in on our problems).

anyways.. YOU IS ACTUALLY ME…

Goodnight to all!

Just last week (July 6) in our technopreneurship class, we had an activity that focus or may help us find/know our own vision. At first, I was speechless, speechless because I don’t know what to say I never had a chance to have it, I attended lots of activities that may help me know myself more or test myself but I never remember it at all. As concluded? The activities which was I attended becomes useless, I didn’t blame it to our speaker but to myself. I don’t know maybe I’m a person who has life but no vision at all. How sad…

As minute passes, I think over and over again, I need to have my vision, I need to have something to share to the class. Since each one of us must have something to share. And know what word first came into my mind? M.A.T.H yes its math. I love numbers, I love computation, I love formula, I really love to see numbers as long as it has formula. It challenge me a lot.

I don’t know if what would be the role of math in my vision but I love it. I used to dream that someday I would have a work which includes numbers or I can use formula in everything I do. I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy because of this but this is what I love.

So when it’s already my turn, I stood up and share it to the class. What is my vision? “I WANT TO COMPUTE IN EVERY WAYS I TAKE” So deep but so meaningful AND THAT’S ME.

How many times I’ve told to myself even anyone who I have known that I love math but it turns to the point that prob stats which is one of our subjects this semester is not growing on me at all. Is it because I am not in myself perfectly? Or have not settled yet specifically my heartaches problems? Oww…I think that’s not the reason why. I have been giving ways my studies from my love life. I don’t want my studies to be affected. And I’ve done it many times so I don’t think it is.

As for my observation, the reason is our teacher, I don’t know but I can hardly understand what she was trying to teach us, she has a moderate voice but she speak too fast. I can’t find her (in terms of searching). I really wanted to tell her that if she can speak more slowly than what she used to but I have no voice in class, I’m too shy to speak. So I keep silent. Another is when my classmates asked her about where those answers came from, she couldn’t answer or else change the topic. And it’s very disappointing.

Along with, I would not allow myself to have low grades in math, fight for it (myself). And since I have no choice, I chose to give more time to copy the examples she has given than to settle to my drama about her teachings. Well good luck to me..(huuhuhuhuhu ) This is math, so my best to happen.

TOO HOT TO MENTION!

LESSON?

DON’T LET OTHER USED YOU..

speechless….

(Roll, roll the credits)
Boy in the beginning
The beginning it was me and you
I was Bonnie you were Clyde
And we were running
We were running for the minute we knew
(Roll, roll the credits)
But then in the middle
In the middle you went and changed the script
Took a pencil and erased my happy ending
Instead of loving you I feel so sick
(Roll, roll the credits)
I know you directed it
I’m sure I produced a bit
So why’s that chick stealing my show?

Baby tell me, who is she?
I need to know her name and number
Tell me, who does she hang out with when you’re not together?
I ain’t gonna do nothing crazy
I just need you to hear me
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits
And tell me how many of your friends you told all about it
They said you would get last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them too?
Or was I just a fool?
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits
Yeah yeah

You worked undercover
Gave her every single line I owned
And it doesn’t make me feel any better
That you took her places we would go
(Roll, roll the credits)
I thought you were meant for me
My name should be on that screen
Tell me, why’s that chick playing my role?

Baby tell me, who is she?
I need to know her name and number
Tell me, who does she hang out with when you’re not together?
I ain’t gonna do nothing crazy
I just need you to hear me
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits
And tell me how many of your friends you told all about it?
They said you would get last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them too?
Or was I just a fool?
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits

I know you directed it
I’m sure I produced a bit
I thought you were meant for me
My name should be on that screen
We weren’t even at the end
But you started auditioning
And let somebody star in my show

(Baby)
Tell me, who is she?
I need to know her name and number (I need to know)
Tell me, who does she hang out with (tell me)
When you’re not together? (who does she)
I ain’t gonna do nothing crazy (aint gonna do nothing so crazy)
I just need you to hear me (I just need you, I just need you to hear me baby)
(Roll, roll the credits)
And tell me how many of your friends you told (tell me)
All about it? (who did you tell)
They said you would get last Friday night when I was calling
Did you lie to all of them too? (all of them too)
Or was I just a fool? (oh a fool)
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits
Roll the credits
Roll the credits
(Roll, roll the credits)
Roll the credits
Roll the credits
(Roll, roll the credits)

“You can continue loving someone but you can’t continue expecting that everything would happen”. That’s what I’ve learned in my lovelife now as it appears to be, I just used to laugh in our ways to communicate each other because in reality I have no choice; no text messages, no chat for busy mode, no comment and messages in friendster until there is a problem, no viewing of profile, no in a relationship status, and most especially no ways of communication which would came me first. Disappointing, isn’t it? But I chose to accept it because in return he would stay (as what I believe).

 But one thing I’ve realized when I viewed his friendster account last June 3, which is I have to end my expectations mostly. Is it really fair that I wasn’t included on his featured friends while his ex was there? one reason. While his shoutout which is obviously not for me because as I’ve remember we are ok, does it mean I’m not the one he was jealous with? another dilemma. Anyway that’s what you called CRAZY THING ABOUT ME! Expecting is my number one problem in entering a relationship. How poor as I considered myself a foolish one because of this.it hurts..but the reality covered me.

 Absolutely, now is the time I would really do everything to end this. Unless he is the one who will make the step. Well..good luck to your studies, and for now my goal is not important, what really important to me is my pride which is apparently ended. Bye!

Breakaway….  

I know my sorry would not be enough but I just want to say sorry, sorry for thousand times even million times. If I can only turn back the time I would not allow myself holds the camera and off it for the reason that it would erase all the pictures. Pictures are very important, it reminiscing the past. But now that it was gone because of me, I don’t know what to do, I know also crying would not help me. I really hate myself! The thing is, it disappears from my hands. Really sorry farj and to whom were affected too even myself who had a lot of taking pictures there. REALLY SORRY. I didn’t mean it.